Ferguson

Wrong doing, government, policy, racism, justice, rights, idiots, misunderstanding, ignorance, injustice, hippies, and cluelessness. What category you decide the Ferguson case fits into? I honestly don't know. Maybe all of them? I don't know a whole lot on the situation and therefore have trouble fully deciding what to think.

Never-the-less, we are making history with this case and it will be one of those things that you hear about in the textbooks and "i remember when" stories. I will tell you though, at times as Americans, we see so many things through screens, text, rumors, bad innuendos, and humorous racial stereotypes, we forget the fact that there are real people suffering in the world. Even if it is cushy Americans "suffering" because of police brutality, they are losing their rights in a free country. I think this is something we sometimes forget in America. We are a nation under the dollar and we think that protects us.

The fact of the matter is, whoever holds the bigger stick decides the rules, even if it's self or majority elected. There will always be that injustice and the Ferguson case just further affirms this. So whether you are for the out come or not, remember that these are real people with real human rights caught in an unbelievably complex social issue.

Thats all I got for tonight. take it with a grain of salt.

How many times have you been around the sun?

Today is my birthday. I taught class today to a crowd that was all older than me by 5+ years. Now in this evening I am traveling on a plane to go back to my home. The bar at the airport was jam packed so I had to eat my dinner "birthday" meal at a fast food pizza place. I have received snaps, texts, voicemails, Facebook posts, and even LinkedIn messages wishing me happy birthday today from people all around the country. I'm finding that is my life now, friends all around the country. It works well since I travel so much.

"I'm on a plane and it's my birthday"

Last time I wrote I was at a startup company that I wasn't super happy with, money was a bit tight, my home still didn't seem like home, and I really didn't feel like I was contributing to a greater cause. Since then I have started working with Adobe and things are shaping up! I am working as a corporate trainer for a product called Adobe Experience Manager. I'm able to save more money, I have made more friends, I get to travel, and most of all, I am becoming a professional in this world. The biggest change though is the travel. To really document my life in the air, I have started a new blog called Plane Runner, feel free to follow that blog as well.

http://planerunner.blogspot.com/

I will admit life is different now, but I can say this is exactly what I have wanted for the past few years. Now that I am a professional technologist and get to travel I'm finding it's just different than I was expecting. I think I always had this thought I would have this great life back at home that I would come home to, but in reality my life is in the sky.When I actually am home, I find myself wanting to travel again. I'm finding home is in the sky and hotels rather than the apartment a few of my things are kept.

"When I actually am home, I find myself wanting to travel again."

No, I don't want to do this all my life. I want to settle down with a house, wife, and kids. But these things are not things I can actively control and so I might as well make the most of what I have. My job has set me up on a path that I could have only dreamed of when I was younger and I am continually thankful for the cards I have been dealt. Living the lifestyle I have now though is very different than my friends and even family, I hope to write a blog on this topic.

I have now made it 26 times around the sun and am proud to say I am a grown professional that contributes to society in a positive manor. I am no longer a child relying on others to support me. But that doesn't mean I have to act professional all the time. There's still a lot of "kid" inside of me!

Oh, and thank you Mom and Dad, without you two there wouldn't be me. I guess that means I am eternally grateful to you two. :)

The Old Man

This is a speech I wrote for the end of my volunteer year. It's story is wrapped up with the meaning of sonder, feel free to check out my post about it's meaning. This story is dedicated to my Vincentian roommates. You are some of the most influential people in my story so far, and my story is where it is because of you; Thank you.

The Old Man

This is a story about an old man that I met and the journey that I took with him known to some as the epic journey of life. But he was not the only character in this story. Other main characters include a koala, a tea pot, the fly on the wall, Chocolate, and my BoY!. most would say that a story with so many odd characters would not work, and well you would be correct. But thats the interesting thing about life, it isn't a story, it's a mash up of many stories put together. This story is the realization that

each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own-- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness-- an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted way.

My first impression of the old man was one of extreme energy and excitement for a new experience. He was so excited that he wanted to keep others of another epic journey up on a work night, asking them questions left and right like "whats your favorite color?" "whats your favorite experience so far?" "how is the program?" "Oh man thats legit, was it hard to live here with your community?",  despite the fact it was past the bed time of the old man.

The next week the old man was thrown into his element like a small child being thrown into a ball pit, except the old man was being thrown into a school with children. For him this was heaven and a time for him to shine and show his youthfulness once again. 

A week past by and myself and the old man went to meet the rest of the characters of the story. This was not just any meetup though. It was an epic experience, filled with laughter, awkwardness, fear, judgement, and realization that these people would be changing our lives forever. Along with the main characters we came to meet a subset of characters in this story known as "The Others," they were with us but not. They went through the same sonder and yet it was completely different. My personal sonder would be touched by The Others over and over again each time we had an epic meetup.

The old man and I went on many adventures with koala, tea pot, the fly on the wall, chocolate and My boY!, but I came to realize the old man and I had a special relationship, realizing the fact that he was old and I was an introvert. We worked well together. We kept quiet most times and understood when talking was needed.

The old man and I had the opportunity to meet The Others once again when we had a conference near them with our work. I came to realize during the exciting time of learning about Vincentian charisms and the relationship between Vincent and Louise, the old man knew how to dance, and dance hard. The old man always seems to be so reserved when serving the children and dedicated.... but when you give the old man a pair of dancing shoes, wine, and a great dance floor (or any floor) he will show you that he isn't as old as he seems. He will show that he has love in his heart and a great passion to make people smile and love life. Oh and sometimes you need to keep a foot on the ground while sleeping to keep you grounded.

Unfortunately, many times the old man had to take what I would later learn to know as 'old man syndrome', or early night sleeps. During his long napping the koala, tea pot, fly on the wall, chocolate, My boY! and myself would enjoy an evening of conversation, dancing, shenanigans, and enjoyment. My boY! and I would often go in and check on the old man, which would usually result in "WHAT WHAT. oh my no no no no leave me alone." Another time though the old man decided to relive his younger years and he and MyboY! relived their college experience being RAs for the rest of the sleeping house.

Being the teacher that the old man was, he insisted that the fly on the wall needed learn to drive, which to me didn't make much sense since a fly has wings...... never the less, the old man and my BoY! taught her on the hills of San Francisco. 

Stories upon stories can be told about the old man... but sometimes, he was napping. Like the time we went to the Cal Academy of Science or when we had a huge 4th of july celebration. Sometimes though, he would put his big ol' sunglasses on and take us somewhere in the car. Times like Napa, Cambell, Salsalito, The Warf, the beach, or even to see The Others. The first trip I went on with trip with the old man he apparently couldn't regulate his temperature and NEEDED to take his pants off, bad. So we stopped at a gas station, and he jumped out in youthfulness and ran to the bathroom to change into shorts. Silly old man.

Many things affected the old man out of his control, and he hated that. Most of the times it involved his supervisor, community pressure, or a cute girl to convince him. But most of the time, he went out to be social. I began to see a change in my life, a sense of Sonderness and I think the old man started to realize it too.

No matter the old man's sleeping schedule, we slowly began to respect it, because he was just another person in his own story, a story that focuses 100% on children. I mean Koala had a story of becoming a doctor, the fly on the wall wants to become a social worker, tea pot just wants to blow her whistle... or go back to college, chocolate wants to eat anything that looks tasty.. or also go back to college. My BoY! wants to help his family or live with me, that part is still being written.

We are all involved with our lives, our story, or perception of what life is. We view others through a small pin-hole of the interaction that we get with them. The old man has been alive for 23 years and I have only known him for 1 year of that. And as much as I love being attached to the old man's hip, I still did not know every little detail that he did this year. That's because his story isn't mine, nor is this story a true depiction of how he perceived this year. My story is mine and mine alone, but what I, and the rest of the world needs to realize is that

each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own-- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness-- an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted way.

The last two miles

As you probably maybe seen from my Facebook profile picture, I recently found this picture in my picture archive.

This is a picture of me finishing my first marathon at the end of 2010. Only one and a half years after I started endurance sports. At the beginning of 2009, I was at 230 lbs, not in shape what so ever, in fact I had probably run for "fun" less than 10 times in my life outside of a small amount of sports. The journey to get in shape was going to be a rough one, but a journey nonetheless.

This is the untold story of my struggle the last two miles.

The last two miles of my first marathon, really made me dig deep and find who I was. It brought me to tears and almost to the point of giving up completely. I had run a solid 18 miles without stopping. the next 3 miles were a trade off of walking a quarter mile and running the last three quarters. After 21 miles, I began to struggle. Running was becoming less and walking more. At about mile 22, my brother in law started to run with me and continued to run with me for the next two miles.

At mile 24, he told me that he was going to go to the finish line to see me finish. The second he left the path, I gave up. I couldn't run anymore, tears were coming to my eyes because I knew my body was giving up on me. I wasn't taking in water anymore, I couldn't focus, I was cramping, the last 2 miles seemed longer than the first 24.

But then one of the most powerful things in the world came into play. Passion. But not the way you would expect. My mind was fried from dehydration. I really couldn't think straight enough to keep positive and move forward. Passion, in the form of a person, ran to me. They came to me and told me to start to walk, so I did. I explained to them I couldn't continue. I was done.

Then this person gave me a speech that I will always remember.. They told me that they had watched me since I first started my training, saw that I had never given up, I always pushed myself. They personally could never see themselves doing a marathon. But the fact that I was doing the marathon said a lot about my personality and my spirit. But most importantly, my family was at the finish line waiting for me. My whole family was there waiting for me to finish my goal, my dream, my passion and they were there to support me, just like they had throughout the whole training process.

These words allowed me to remember my passion, my spirit, my life and how much I needed to finish.I can't say the last two miles after that point were easy... every step I took was a test of my spirit. No matter how hard each step was though, I knew my family was waiting at the finish to share the accomplishment with me and I knew I needed to get there.

The picture above is  that expression of finishing and being able to share it with my family, pure raw passion. Among my family was the person that gave me the power to finish, my bother-in-law.

Simply put, family is important to live out your passion, whether that family is blood related or not, it just needs to be someone that cares about you enough to set you straight when life gets you down.