What a Bike Week

What has been on your mind Kevin? Well let me tell you. This last week revolved around bikes, both the good and the bad. Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to Tour De Fat, which is a huge biker (cyclist) event in Golden Gate Park and see many different things with bikes. I saw a Velodrome,  unique mechanical bikes, machines made from bikes, bikers, bike clubs, valet bike parking, music and comedy about bikes, just everything was focused on the cycling community. I was like a kid in a candy store with all the different bikes and riders there. It was crazy awesome.

Another adventure I was able to partake in this last week was Critical Mass. Critical Mass is a huge cyclist event that happens the last Friday of every month all over the country. San Francisco had probably 5,000 riders on the streets when I was there. From what I understand is it starts at the same place every time, but then no one really knows where it will go and for how long. People jump in at anytime (like me) and jump out anytime, but for the most part it lasts about 2 hours. Now, imagine 5,000 bikers randomly coming together to take over the streets of downtown San Francisco. Chaos! Cars were backed up for blocks, everyone was honking, bikers were smiling while riding down the middle of the street in crazy cloths in a huge mob of cyclists, just absolutely ridiculous. It is cool though to see how many bikers are out there.

My last story is mostly a sad one, but one that is testing me day after day still. On Wednesday one of my coworkers took myself and the other volunteers I work with out to eat. That day I had road my tri bike (my nice bike) to work that day. Fortunately I had my lock with me, so I figured it would be no big deal. First mistake.  When I got there I decided that I could just lock it up outside because I didn't want to bother the manager at the restaurant about bringing my bike in. Second mistake. I locked up my frame and both my wheels because I have a cable lock that stretches through all of them. Third mistake. We got a table right next to the window so I could see my bike easily. One of my coworkers though, sat in my view of my bike, I was facing the window. So every so often I would move about a half a foot and look to see if I could still see my bike, yep still there. Then at one moment I decided to look up, and it wasn't there.... it wasn't there. I got up from my spot, went outside, looked around and it wasn't there... That. was hard for me. I came back in and thanked my coworker for dinner and  turned down the cab ride she wanted to give me. I just needed to be alone. I walked 2.5 miles back to my place, in bike shoes. It gave me a lot of time to think, but obviously thinking really wasn't going to help.

After a restless night, I started to question what the heck I'm even doing in San Francisco. I feel like I'm doing mediocre work, everyone I love is at home, I am missing great moments with my family, integrity does not seem to be present in this city, relationships here are superficial, I mean, am I even supposed to be here? Is this just a boys messed up dream? 

To say the least it has been a rough last few days. To me, and I know this sounds pathetic to most people but, it felt like that bike, what it stood for and what it reminded me of, kept me grounded. It was my home. It was the one thing I brought from home that I truly cared about, it reminded me of who I was and the great things I have done on my own, but also with my friends and family. That bike was my release. It was my escape to whatever crap life threw at me, I could get on and ride away, think, pray, and just release any emotion I had. But now that is gone and I have had to try and refocus myself.

Though it is extremely hard for me to think about all of this, I move forward. I continue on. Not because I don't care, but because I have to. There are much worse things in life than getting a bike stolen, no matter how sentimental. I still have my friends, I still have my family. I have a great life and I live extremely comfortably. Those I am helping here in San Francisco need me. As much as I think I am useless many days, I am needed and because of that I cannot give up.  I am learning quickly that sacrifices are required for anything worth pursuing. And as much as it pains me to say it, loosing my bike might be just the push I need to really start focusing out here. Because I still have no idea what I want to do. I think people are interested in me, but quickly loose interest when they realize I don't have a focus. They are right, I need to find focus. 

As always, here's my life as a pictorial:

Just a great picture. We need one of these for Iowa. Maybe of  the bridge connecting  Iowa and Wisconsin and Dubuque?

I saw this tent being set up. Openworld is this week and I expect you will hear about it in my next post!

The first day that I went to the beach in San Francisco and it wasn't foggy.  If you look close enough though, you can see it rolling in.

This first set is from Tour De Fat. Many crazy bikes there.

Look at all the bikes!

This is is from Critical Mass. There were bikers everywhere! Music and mass chaos, what more could you want from a evening in San Francisco?