Does my paycheck validate what I do? I'm starting to think no.
In 2006 I was in a car crash that I should not have survived. I pushed through the pain and struggles and decided two things. One: The love and passion that someone has towards another is absolutely unexplainable and beautiful and can never truly be understood by the other individual. Two: If God let me survive that accident, then I have a job to do on this earth. I am out in San Francisco attempting to do just that. The path is not easy and I am constantly learning, but I know I will succeed.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Value
Value. What does it mean? Truly. What does it mean? I mean really? Working in the for profit world I really wonder sometimes. How do people get lost in it?
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I'm in the "real" world now
The last time I wrote here was when I was finishing my volunteer year which was only 2 months ago, but seems like an eternity. Since then, I have started working at a startup as an intern, started working at a school for IT part time, found a new place, moved to a new place, started working salary at my startup, and transitioned my IT job at the school to a consultant basis. To say the least it has been A LOT of transition for me.
More specifically, I am now living in Oakland California and working in San Francisco at a startup called InspiRational Tech. So far it has proved to be a major challenge for me, but if you know me, I love challenges. I am learning daily what it takes to grow a business, do sales, fix things I didn't build, market to large companies, and work with a foreign team halfway around the world. The job itself isn't as technical as what an actual engineering job would be, but it still requires so may skills I learned from my engineering degree like managing, planning, organizing, project mapping, researching, collaboration, and most importantly, thinking differently.
I'm traveling a lot with this job too so if you are in a big city, let me know and if I can make it there I will make sure to see you!
Now that we are hiring more people my manager has come to me and wants to me come up with my own goals for the company. She wants me to be happy and really excel at what I am passionate about. Since when do you hear that in the first 3 months of a new job, let alone your first real job out of college?
Note: At this point in writing this, I diverged into a "Why am I passionate blog." I decided to leave this out and share it another day. :)
I'm excited about where I am in life. The horizons ahead look rip for the picking and hardships may will come, but I'm going to stay positive because you are the only one in charge of your life. No one else is and if someone does something that makes you sad or angry, their action is not the fault you're unhappy. It's your choosing to be unhappy about their actions.
My sister is getting married to a wonderful guy in a little over a month. I'm returning to Iowa to welcome him into the family and see my sister smile like she's never smiled before!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
The Power of Words
Hello, I am a Computer Engineer. I like coding. I like math. I like numbers. I like theory. I like everything that involves few words. Have you ever felt this way? This has always been my greatest weakness and over the years I have worked extremely hard at overcoming this weakness of mine. I am starting to realize though words, spoken and written are extremely important to creating lasting relationships in your life.
I have found that I am best at writing my thoughts out, probably because I can truly think about what I'm saying (since I'm not very good and thinking and speaking). This has allowed me to convey many clear and concise thoughts to friends, family, coworkers, and professors. Writing allows me to express my brain because I cannot speak the randomness that flows through my thoughts.
Others might be better at speaking their mind and talking through how they feel and others still, might be best understood by listening to another individual. Never-the-less, the message is the same, words are the building block of any strong relationship and deeply understanding another individual. Neglecting words in a relationship or using the wrong medium for your words can deeply affect a relationship in a negative way. I have learned both of these things in extremely hard way with some of the relationships that surround me.
Not using words, or as little as possible to communicate can allow for an easy efficient relationship for someone you are required to interact with, or at least it would seem like at first. But the longer words are not used to express feelings or emotions, the longer grudges have to boil into hatred and with no efficient medium to escape, the relationship is doomed to end in a negative way.
So as long as I use words to express how I feel, is a relationship is more likely to flourish? NO! For a while possibly, but what happens when there is a critical point in the relationship (hard decision, fight, depression, etc) and you choose a medium of words to attempt to communicate how you feel that isn't you best?
Now I'm not saying ONLY use your best medium to express your words, thats just ridiculous, but rather be conscience of how you are expressing them, because when push comes to shove, words are all we have to our soul. Emotions, touch, body language, and gestures can be very convoluting without words behind them. All we have is to be impeccable with our words and hope for the best in our relationships. Plain and simple.
I have found that I am best at writing my thoughts out, probably because I can truly think about what I'm saying (since I'm not very good and thinking and speaking). This has allowed me to convey many clear and concise thoughts to friends, family, coworkers, and professors. Writing allows me to express my brain because I cannot speak the randomness that flows through my thoughts.
Others might be better at speaking their mind and talking through how they feel and others still, might be best understood by listening to another individual. Never-the-less, the message is the same, words are the building block of any strong relationship and deeply understanding another individual. Neglecting words in a relationship or using the wrong medium for your words can deeply affect a relationship in a negative way. I have learned both of these things in extremely hard way with some of the relationships that surround me.
Not using words, or as little as possible to communicate can allow for an easy efficient relationship for someone you are required to interact with, or at least it would seem like at first. But the longer words are not used to express feelings or emotions, the longer grudges have to boil into hatred and with no efficient medium to escape, the relationship is doomed to end in a negative way.
So as long as I use words to express how I feel, is a relationship is more likely to flourish? NO! For a while possibly, but what happens when there is a critical point in the relationship (hard decision, fight, depression, etc) and you choose a medium of words to attempt to communicate how you feel that isn't you best?
Now I'm not saying ONLY use your best medium to express your words, thats just ridiculous, but rather be conscience of how you are expressing them, because when push comes to shove, words are all we have to our soul. Emotions, touch, body language, and gestures can be very convoluting without words behind them. All we have is to be impeccable with our words and hope for the best in our relationships. Plain and simple.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Sonder
Sonder. Probably one of the most interestingly beautiful words I have heard in a while. I was first introduced to the word a few weeks ago at a my closing retreat for my volunteer year. The speaker was going to talk to us about the St. Vincent De Paul Society, but what I learned from him is that everyone is stepping in and out of my life just as quickly as I am stepping into and out of theirs. The definition the speaker gave was:
The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own-- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness-- an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted way.
The word suggests that every person I meet, every person, has a life just as incredibly complex as my own and I have been told this exact same theme growing up. I was always told that we are unique and many times I have even told my friends that they are crazy, in their own awesome way. I was also told to think of others, walk a mile in their shoes, be a servant leader, and "how does that make them feel?" But sonder suggests a much deeper meaning to what I was taught growing up.
In no way what I was taught grow up was wrong, but it is a child's view on the outside world, where sonder provides a deeper, more meaningful, adult way of viewing the world.
Working with the poverty this last year, I really experienced sonderness because I was able to be apart of the growing process of another individual. My most vivid memory of this would be the first time I was told to sit in on parent teacher conferences. I had no idea what to say, I expected the parents to be against me, be in their own snobby lives, but it was completely different (though I am told this is not true with all parent teacher conferences). Parents would come in and truly want to work with you on how to help their child excel, but not just to educate them to get a job, but rather to educate them so they didn't have to live the hard life they have had to live day in and day out to make ends meet. You could see the emotion in the parents eyes urning for their child to have a easier life, no matter the costs. The realization that each random passerby is living a life just as vivid and complex as my own. The parents of the Tenderloin truly showed me that.
An epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground. I had a student that was constantly forgetting important materials for class almost daily. She would take her homework home and then forget it because she left it out, or took a different backpack. COME ON! It's not that hard to remember, and not only that shouldn't her parents make sure everything was in her bag before going to school!? Her epic story (later told to me by another teacher) invisibly unfolded negatively in my eyes because I didn't know she lived with her mother and her mother worked at night and was not able to check over her homework and backpack every night. The extra help the student needed (only a 4th grader) at home was not there and I didn't know that. After realizing her invisibly epic story, I was able to come up with a plan to help her start remembering things... oh yeah, it worked too.
There are billions and billions of people in this world, just think how many you interact with everyday, even if it's just eye contact. Since I learned about sonder I have been trying to keep a smile on in public places, because you never know just who you might effect that day, hopefully in a positive way.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Dear Mom
Dear mom,
24 years ago you entered my life.... Or more appropriately, I entered yours. Throughout my life you have been my moral compass. I have always looked to you for everything. Whether or not it seems like I pay attention to your advice or if I actually know how to wash my clothes, I have always listened to you. Probably about 8 to 9 years ago I decided I wanted to be an engineer but your philosophy of the importance of teaching stuck with me. You taught me that education, no matter how smart you are, is extremely important and is the key to a better life. I relearned this lesson in college, but I know because of you I knew this all a long.
Today mom, you are retiring. After 38 years of teaching, longer than my life, you are retiring. I am just starting my career and I think I know so much. I cannot believe how much you must know. In laymans terms, you are a smart lady. Throughout my life I wanted to be in technology development, a job "on top of the world" and one that can truly reach millions. Yet, I find myself volunteering this year at a school, teaching kids. Mom, you must have taught me well.
I cannot speak for all the kids you taught over the years, but I can say that for me, your son, you have taught me that education is extremely important. Because education is truly the liberator to success and life. Mom you taught in the midwest, an area that isn't in poverty, starvation, suppression, or a minority, but mom, you made a difference. You allowed for countless students to be educated about family, taxes, common sense, and most importantly, life itself.
Many times I know you came home tired, stressed, and depressed, but mom, I can tell you that you made a difference. You made a difference. I remember many conversations with you ending in "kids are idiots! They just don't understand!!" but mom, I know they do. Maybe not now, maybe not in a few years, but they will. They will look back at your lessons and think about the lessons about life that you taught them and realize that, "hey Mrs. Nennig really knew what she was talking about."
Teaching is exhausting mom! I would have never understood this if I hadn't been in a school system for a year. Want to know a secret mom? I am sooooo tired after teaching one year. Suddenly all those naps you would take before making me dinner in my younger years is starting to make sense. You are a superstar.
I cannot decide if this is rambling or if it is speech from my heart, but one thing I do know mom is that you deserve a rest. Take pride in what you have done and what you have accomplished in your years of teaching, because I know I am. I was extremely proud to tell my teaching friends that my mom was retiring after 38 years of teaching. I might not be in education for the rest of my life, but I can tell you I will never forget what you and the education system taught me.
To say the least, you amazing. Thanks for serving 38 years. That's a lot of lives changed.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
This is a pretty short and simple blog post. Last week I had the honor to go to some of Google I/O. Unfortunately because I had to still work during the day, I couldn't see the sessions live. BUT I did get to eat some food, meet some people, see a bit of the expo, experience new technologies, and go to a few after parties.
There is a lot of excitement for Google Glass, but not so much in the sense that most would think. It seems like glass technology will make a huge hit in the sports, adventure, and other crazy things you only wish you had a camera for. The thing that sparked my interest the most was for endurance sports. Currently, you wear a watch or have a head unit you put on your bike to see your stats of speed, distance, heart rate, calories burned, etc. What if though you never had to look down at your watch or head unit? What if you just glanced down slightly in your sunglasses? This is the type of product I saw at Google IO that really make me smile. I cannot wait for this to happen.
Along with that there was a ton of talk around Android and Chrome, actually that's basically all the conference was about. Despite the fact that Google Glass is their newest hardware, it really wasn't talked about in the sessions. As a Android Developer I was really excited about this and the features that they are rolling out.
As always you will find lots of pictures of my experience below!
There is a lot of excitement for Google Glass, but not so much in the sense that most would think. It seems like glass technology will make a huge hit in the sports, adventure, and other crazy things you only wish you had a camera for. The thing that sparked my interest the most was for endurance sports. Currently, you wear a watch or have a head unit you put on your bike to see your stats of speed, distance, heart rate, calories burned, etc. What if though you never had to look down at your watch or head unit? What if you just glanced down slightly in your sunglasses? This is the type of product I saw at Google IO that really make me smile. I cannot wait for this to happen.
Along with that there was a ton of talk around Android and Chrome, actually that's basically all the conference was about. Despite the fact that Google Glass is their newest hardware, it really wasn't talked about in the sessions. As a Android Developer I was really excited about this and the features that they are rolling out.
As always you will find lots of pictures of my experience below!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Robot design
Once a month the 4th graders go to an art studio and work with a lady to create an art piece. This last Wednesday was their last day going for this school year. The art teacher asked them to do something crazy, make a robot. But not just any robot, a functional one, one that serves a purpose. I thought this was a cool idea for the kids and that they would use their imagination to make something exciting. Though it seemed like some of the kids got the idea, most had a really hard time with this concept.
Many students thought a robot had to have a head, face, legs, and needed to be just like a human. I thought this was a very interesting concept, why did a child think that a robot that is built to do anything, have to be like a human? The only thing I could come up with is: they couldn't distinguish the difference between a robot and an alien. Theoretically, an alien, would be living, breathing (something) and need to preform many different types of functionality, and would have to consume nutrients in some way shape or form. A robot though is very much similar, but extremely different.
In many cases robots and technology are created for a very specific functionality. In most cases the use of arms, feet, touch, taste, and hearing, are not usually needed in a robot's design. If you are creating a batting robot, why should your robot need arms and hands to hold the bat when the actual arm could just be a bat? If your robot picks up trash, why does it need hair? Why does it need 2 eyes? Why does it need lips?
Most of the 4th graders could not find this distinction between robots and aliens, and they needed to have "humanized" robots. Most of their reasoning was because the robot was not "evil." Or "it needs hair because the people won't be scared of it." Craziness..
Technology design is designed around functionality, which is exactly the reason humans evolved the way they did, in other words "survival of the fittest." So what's the difference? Some would say technology is the next step in evolution and humans are nearly a catalyst for the evolution of the universe. It's pretty far out there but it has some merit. Never-the-less, here is some of the artwork from the 4th graders!
Many students thought a robot had to have a head, face, legs, and needed to be just like a human. I thought this was a very interesting concept, why did a child think that a robot that is built to do anything, have to be like a human? The only thing I could come up with is: they couldn't distinguish the difference between a robot and an alien. Theoretically, an alien, would be living, breathing (something) and need to preform many different types of functionality, and would have to consume nutrients in some way shape or form. A robot though is very much similar, but extremely different.
In many cases robots and technology are created for a very specific functionality. In most cases the use of arms, feet, touch, taste, and hearing, are not usually needed in a robot's design. If you are creating a batting robot, why should your robot need arms and hands to hold the bat when the actual arm could just be a bat? If your robot picks up trash, why does it need hair? Why does it need 2 eyes? Why does it need lips?
Most of the 4th graders could not find this distinction between robots and aliens, and they needed to have "humanized" robots. Most of their reasoning was because the robot was not "evil." Or "it needs hair because the people won't be scared of it." Craziness..
Technology design is designed around functionality, which is exactly the reason humans evolved the way they did, in other words "survival of the fittest." So what's the difference? Some would say technology is the next step in evolution and humans are nearly a catalyst for the evolution of the universe. It's pretty far out there but it has some merit. Never-the-less, here is some of the artwork from the 4th graders!
Monday, April 29, 2013
The story of the train
There once was a man and woman who were happily wed in their early 20s. The man loved the woman with all his heart and loved everything about her. Of course throughout their marriage they fought, had disagreements, but nothing that ever lasted long because they loved each other and truly worked at it. But there was one thing that the man just could not take, a train. The woman had been out thrift shopping one day and had found a model train. There was nothing too special about it; it was old, had the coal car, and classic smoke stack. The conductor box was red and the engine was a bright blue. After bringing it home and showing the man, she placed it on the window sill above the kitchen sink.
After the man saw this, he immediately took the train down and put it in the cubbard under the sink. For some reason, he just could not stand that gaudy train. The next day the man came home from work, and sure enough the train was back up on the window sill. Frustrated he took the train and put it back in the cubbard under the sink.
This routine continued for the next 20 years, some days the train would stay up on the window sill for a few days and sometimes it would stay under the sink, but the battle continued. As the couple grew older, the woman became sick and soon the woman passed away. The man came home from the hospital that day and saw the train, once again up on the window sill. The man looked intently at it and gave a small smile because he knew that would be the permanent place of that train for the remainder of his days.
What do you hate in your life? Will you still hate it when it's gone? Will you hate it when you loose something that you love? The man loved this woman so much that even though he hated the train, it reminded him of her and he was happy. So even though he hated the train, it brought him joy because it reminded him of her.
I recently had this happen with country music. If you know me, I hate country music, but for the first time the other day, I truly enjoyed it. I was with friends going up to stay at a cabin and go on a float trip. Apparently after you get out of the city, everyone turns into a country loving crazy person. And as annoying as the music was, it made me smile because it reminded me of the midwest, our music, line dancing, my friends, and just simple living. As long as I'm away from the midwest, I think I will tolerate country music because it makes me smile.
Oh and I'm going up to the Boundary Waters at the end of July. I couldn't be happier. :)
After the man saw this, he immediately took the train down and put it in the cubbard under the sink. For some reason, he just could not stand that gaudy train. The next day the man came home from work, and sure enough the train was back up on the window sill. Frustrated he took the train and put it back in the cubbard under the sink.
This routine continued for the next 20 years, some days the train would stay up on the window sill for a few days and sometimes it would stay under the sink, but the battle continued. As the couple grew older, the woman became sick and soon the woman passed away. The man came home from the hospital that day and saw the train, once again up on the window sill. The man looked intently at it and gave a small smile because he knew that would be the permanent place of that train for the remainder of his days.
What do you hate in your life? Will you still hate it when it's gone? Will you hate it when you loose something that you love? The man loved this woman so much that even though he hated the train, it reminded him of her and he was happy. So even though he hated the train, it brought him joy because it reminded him of her.
I recently had this happen with country music. If you know me, I hate country music, but for the first time the other day, I truly enjoyed it. I was with friends going up to stay at a cabin and go on a float trip. Apparently after you get out of the city, everyone turns into a country loving crazy person. And as annoying as the music was, it made me smile because it reminded me of the midwest, our music, line dancing, my friends, and just simple living. As long as I'm away from the midwest, I think I will tolerate country music because it makes me smile.
Oh and I'm going up to the Boundary Waters at the end of July. I couldn't be happier. :)
Boundary Waters 2006. It has been 7 years since we have gone. It is time. |
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Today I Remember a Friend
Today is April 24th, 2013. An ordinary day for most, birthdays for some, and others anniversaries. For me, today is a day to breath. To breath in the air into my lungs and celebrate some who has and continues to influence every fiber in my body.
Father Everett Hemann left this earth to one year ago today and I truly believe he is still working through myself and so many others. To hear my recollection, please see my previous post.
This post however is a time for all of us to step back and praise God for the life we have. Fr. Ev "humanized" God and faith for me and I'm sure many others feel the same. He was a man to laugh with, pray with, drink with, but most importantly, break bread with. He always wanted to share a meal with you and talk about your life and tell stories. If God came into the conversation, great, but there was never any pressure. Oddly enough though, God was always in the conversation, even if He wasn't directly spoken about. The conversation, the laughter, the community that was made around the table truly brought meaning to the words "where two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be."
Below is a small story that was once told by Ev in a homily. It's a fitting story for a man like Ev and everyone else that looks beyond.
Now, Master, dismiss your servant in peace. You have fulfilled your promise. My own eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all peoples.
Father Everett Hemann,
Pray for us.
Father Everett Hemann left this earth to one year ago today and I truly believe he is still working through myself and so many others. To hear my recollection, please see my previous post.
This post however is a time for all of us to step back and praise God for the life we have. Fr. Ev "humanized" God and faith for me and I'm sure many others feel the same. He was a man to laugh with, pray with, drink with, but most importantly, break bread with. He always wanted to share a meal with you and talk about your life and tell stories. If God came into the conversation, great, but there was never any pressure. Oddly enough though, God was always in the conversation, even if He wasn't directly spoken about. The conversation, the laughter, the community that was made around the table truly brought meaning to the words "where two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be."
Below is a small story that was once told by Ev in a homily. It's a fitting story for a man like Ev and everyone else that looks beyond.
The story is told of a man driving in the country with his seven-year-old granddaughter. As they were driving down a gravel road the young girl suddenly took her hands off the wheel and screamed, "The road is coming to an end! Stop the car!" Grandpa informed her that the road really was not coming to an end but was going to take a very sharp corner around a rove of trees and even though she could not see the road- it appeared to end-- it was very much there. He assured her that he had been down this road before and he knew that it continued on after the turn.Fr. Ev is still among us today, we just can't quite see him around the corner. But he is still there watching, praying, and telling us, "let me be your servant."
Now, Master, dismiss your servant in peace. You have fulfilled your promise. My own eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all peoples.
Father Everett Hemann,
Pray for us.
My Friend Father Everett Hemann
To some Father Everett Hemann was a priest, a holy man, someone who lived the gospel and always knew how to make someone laugh. To me, he was Ev, a man, with a hell of a lot of experiences, but most importantly he was my friend, a mentor, and I miss him.
I first met Ev at St. Thomas Aquinas in Ames, Iowa across the street from Iowa State University, my alma mater. My first year at Iowa State, 2007, he was just some priest, that talked at Mass, and inspired me once in a while. I was not truly introduced to him until the summer or 2008, after my freshman year .
Ev, two other students, and myself all went to a campus ministry conference. I don't remember a whole lot from that trip in terms of the conference, but I do remember Ev. He was extremely outgoing, funny, crazy, and a kid, just like us. He knew lots of people, wanted to sight see, entertain, and most importantly, wanted to know about us. He took the time to get to know each one of us three on the trip.
After that trip, I became more involved with St. Thomas. I joined the outreach team, helped with service activities, and just plain started to become a part of the community at St. Thomas. Fr. Ev wasn't very involved with the students (our church was a parish as well as a student center and he focused mainly on the parish), but he still made time to call, text, or google chat with me. Most conversations were short, brief, and didn't have a lot of content, but they were personal. He asked about my life, how triathlon was, if I met any cute Catholic girls yet, or if I had heard about the latest tech fab. The conversations weren't formal, well thought out, or even at regular hours (usually after 11pm!). It was a friendship.
A year later I was hit with sad news, Ev was moving. It was summer of 2009 and Ev was assigned to a new parish, after 12 years of being at St. Thomas. That hurt. After telling me of his leaving, he assured me that we would stay in contact. That felt good to hear, but I knew that was too good to be true. Ev have been at St. Thomas for 12 years! There was no way he was going to keep in contact with a college student he only knew for a year, I mean he has grown thousands of friendships like that right?
I don't know why, maybe (probably) some act of God, Ev kept in contact with me. Every time he came back to Ames (which was frequent) he always called asking if I was available for lunch. Most times I was too busy with school, St. Thomas, triathlon, and life to meet with him, but he would continue to ask how we could meet up. Eventually, we would find a time to meet up, even if it was for 10 minutes, at least to say hello (and to fix his Blackberry problems).
Almost two years ago to the date, Ev was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We were informed that he may only have a month to live. One month! How could a healthy man go from great to one month!?!
A group of college students that still knew Ev from St. Thomas went up to see him a week later. Even up to his last days, he told many that the day when the college students came to see him was one of the hardest days for him. Ev was a strong man, and was ready to accept God's plan for him, but seeing us was truly a great experience for him.
Fr. Everett Hemann's condition continued to deteriorate, but God wasn't finished with him on this earth yet. Ev started to do chemo every two weeks, he explained it like the worst pain in the world, but needed to continue his work until God was finished with him. Over the next 11 months, Ev preached about "learning to live through dying." He was strong. He continued celebrating Mass for almost 9 of those months.
Upon visiting him during the summer (only a few months after his announcement) I had the privilege to celebrate Mass with him at an assisted living home with 5 other people. After we celebrated the Mass, he told me, "When I am too weak to take care of myself, I want to come here." I will never forget that. It was the first true realization that he wasn't going to be around much longer.
After that visit, Ev kept me in the loop, before he posted anything (on his blog), made a big announcement, or even came to Ames, he would always make sure to tell me personally first. I don't know why, but we were becoming close and it hurt knowing he would be leaving soon.
Two more events stick in my head before his passing that I want to share with you. It was Thanksgiving 2009, I called Ev asking if he had any time to meet during my Thanksgiving break, he told me yes, but it wouldn't be at his place, but rather his sisters. I was being invited to a family meal with Ev. There is much more to this story, but the main point is, I don't know why, but Ev truly cared deeply about me. I learned a lot that night about the "boy" behind the man that is Everett Hemann. He was just a small town farm boy that loved planes.
That night he told me about the greatest gift I have ever received from another individual (besides my parents). At this time I was the event chair for St. Thomas's dinner and auction for the college students to go on immersion trips. At that point we were still looking for items to put on the live auction and I had mentioned this to Ev in a previous conversation. He took me into another room and told me (as close to memory as I can recall), "Now Kevin, I know you had asked me if I had anything to contribute to the auction for St. Thomas." He pulls out a frame. "This Kevin, is a painting that has been hanging over my bed for a number of years. It is the prayer that I have said almost every night as a priest. It is called Nunc Dimittis. A parishioner painted it for me a few years back, and I think it is time that it is returned to the parish." I was in awe at this extremely personal gift. But before I could say anything, he told me, "Now before you take it from me, I want to keep it for a while longer and I will have it sent to you when the time is right."
My last story of Ev revolves around the dinner and auction I was the event chair for. It was January 2012, and I called Ev asking for something I wasn't sure if I could. I wanted him to celebrate the event with us. No one was even sure if he would be alive in a month, so how do you ask a dying man to come to something you aren't sure if he will be around for? Well the simple answer is with humor. Sometimes death is easiest explained with humor, it hurts less. Ev basically told me not to plan for him, but keep a ticket for him if by some miracle his body could handle the travel.
Two days before the event (January 26, 2012) I get a call from Ev, "I'm coming. I won't be there for long, but I will be there for a bit." This was one of the biggest nights of my college career and one of my best friends was going to make it for the community he loved so much. It was one of the happiest days of my life, a perfect event, my family, my friends, and my mentor-- together. At this point in his journey, his joking tone was fading and all that was left was the unconditional love he had for everyone. For the event he put on a smile, laughed, made conversation, but was in major pain after. I guess its easiest to have life hurt the most behind closed doors when you inspire so many.
Ev stayed around for a few months, moved to assisted living, and grew weaker and weaker by the day. He called me one last time at the end of March 2012 and asked to see me one last time, he said his time was near. My last conversation with Ev. His sister (who was helping him in assisted living) told me we only had 20 minutes, no more. Ev insisted on making it an hour. The conversation was slow, but he still remembered everything about me and had a ton of stories to tell me. At the end, we hugged, he was so small and frail, and he told me, "I love you Kevin." After that our last words were, "I'll see you later."
April 24, 2012 Father Everett Hemann, a priest of 40 years, and community member of 6 different parishes, passed away. The funeral was huge. Celebrations were had. Conversations of the stories of Ev were had. Ev was a great servant of God; but to me he was a great friend.
I'm sure others have stories of Ev and many just as personal as mine, that's just who he was, personal with everyone. So today we remember a friend, brother, priest, mentor, son, godfather, servant of God. We ask him to pray for each one of us. Fr. Ev was a servant to all of us and an inspiration of how Christ can shine through us in a positive way. We all struggle to serve others, but it's a good thing that we have one more soul up there praying, "watch over Your children, though at times they are idiots, forgive them because I want to see them again!"
Father Everett Hemann,
Pray for us
I first met Ev at St. Thomas Aquinas in Ames, Iowa across the street from Iowa State University, my alma mater. My first year at Iowa State, 2007, he was just some priest, that talked at Mass, and inspired me once in a while. I was not truly introduced to him until the summer or 2008, after my freshman year .
Ev, two other students, and myself all went to a campus ministry conference. I don't remember a whole lot from that trip in terms of the conference, but I do remember Ev. He was extremely outgoing, funny, crazy, and a kid, just like us. He knew lots of people, wanted to sight see, entertain, and most importantly, wanted to know about us. He took the time to get to know each one of us three on the trip.
After that trip, I became more involved with St. Thomas. I joined the outreach team, helped with service activities, and just plain started to become a part of the community at St. Thomas. Fr. Ev wasn't very involved with the students (our church was a parish as well as a student center and he focused mainly on the parish), but he still made time to call, text, or google chat with me. Most conversations were short, brief, and didn't have a lot of content, but they were personal. He asked about my life, how triathlon was, if I met any cute Catholic girls yet, or if I had heard about the latest tech fab. The conversations weren't formal, well thought out, or even at regular hours (usually after 11pm!). It was a friendship.
A year later I was hit with sad news, Ev was moving. It was summer of 2009 and Ev was assigned to a new parish, after 12 years of being at St. Thomas. That hurt. After telling me of his leaving, he assured me that we would stay in contact. That felt good to hear, but I knew that was too good to be true. Ev have been at St. Thomas for 12 years! There was no way he was going to keep in contact with a college student he only knew for a year, I mean he has grown thousands of friendships like that right?
I don't know why, maybe (probably) some act of God, Ev kept in contact with me. Every time he came back to Ames (which was frequent) he always called asking if I was available for lunch. Most times I was too busy with school, St. Thomas, triathlon, and life to meet with him, but he would continue to ask how we could meet up. Eventually, we would find a time to meet up, even if it was for 10 minutes, at least to say hello (and to fix his Blackberry problems).
Almost two years ago to the date, Ev was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We were informed that he may only have a month to live. One month! How could a healthy man go from great to one month!?!
A group of college students that still knew Ev from St. Thomas went up to see him a week later. Even up to his last days, he told many that the day when the college students came to see him was one of the hardest days for him. Ev was a strong man, and was ready to accept God's plan for him, but seeing us was truly a great experience for him.
Fr. Everett Hemann's condition continued to deteriorate, but God wasn't finished with him on this earth yet. Ev started to do chemo every two weeks, he explained it like the worst pain in the world, but needed to continue his work until God was finished with him. Over the next 11 months, Ev preached about "learning to live through dying." He was strong. He continued celebrating Mass for almost 9 of those months.
Upon visiting him during the summer (only a few months after his announcement) I had the privilege to celebrate Mass with him at an assisted living home with 5 other people. After we celebrated the Mass, he told me, "When I am too weak to take care of myself, I want to come here." I will never forget that. It was the first true realization that he wasn't going to be around much longer.
After that visit, Ev kept me in the loop, before he posted anything (on his blog), made a big announcement, or even came to Ames, he would always make sure to tell me personally first. I don't know why, but we were becoming close and it hurt knowing he would be leaving soon.
Two more events stick in my head before his passing that I want to share with you. It was Thanksgiving 2009, I called Ev asking if he had any time to meet during my Thanksgiving break, he told me yes, but it wouldn't be at his place, but rather his sisters. I was being invited to a family meal with Ev. There is much more to this story, but the main point is, I don't know why, but Ev truly cared deeply about me. I learned a lot that night about the "boy" behind the man that is Everett Hemann. He was just a small town farm boy that loved planes.
That night he told me about the greatest gift I have ever received from another individual (besides my parents). At this time I was the event chair for St. Thomas's dinner and auction for the college students to go on immersion trips. At that point we were still looking for items to put on the live auction and I had mentioned this to Ev in a previous conversation. He took me into another room and told me (as close to memory as I can recall), "Now Kevin, I know you had asked me if I had anything to contribute to the auction for St. Thomas." He pulls out a frame. "This Kevin, is a painting that has been hanging over my bed for a number of years. It is the prayer that I have said almost every night as a priest. It is called Nunc Dimittis. A parishioner painted it for me a few years back, and I think it is time that it is returned to the parish." I was in awe at this extremely personal gift. But before I could say anything, he told me, "Now before you take it from me, I want to keep it for a while longer and I will have it sent to you when the time is right."
My last story of Ev revolves around the dinner and auction I was the event chair for. It was January 2012, and I called Ev asking for something I wasn't sure if I could. I wanted him to celebrate the event with us. No one was even sure if he would be alive in a month, so how do you ask a dying man to come to something you aren't sure if he will be around for? Well the simple answer is with humor. Sometimes death is easiest explained with humor, it hurts less. Ev basically told me not to plan for him, but keep a ticket for him if by some miracle his body could handle the travel.
Two days before the event (January 26, 2012) I get a call from Ev, "I'm coming. I won't be there for long, but I will be there for a bit." This was one of the biggest nights of my college career and one of my best friends was going to make it for the community he loved so much. It was one of the happiest days of my life, a perfect event, my family, my friends, and my mentor-- together. At this point in his journey, his joking tone was fading and all that was left was the unconditional love he had for everyone. For the event he put on a smile, laughed, made conversation, but was in major pain after. I guess its easiest to have life hurt the most behind closed doors when you inspire so many.
Ev stayed around for a few months, moved to assisted living, and grew weaker and weaker by the day. He called me one last time at the end of March 2012 and asked to see me one last time, he said his time was near. My last conversation with Ev. His sister (who was helping him in assisted living) told me we only had 20 minutes, no more. Ev insisted on making it an hour. The conversation was slow, but he still remembered everything about me and had a ton of stories to tell me. At the end, we hugged, he was so small and frail, and he told me, "I love you Kevin." After that our last words were, "I'll see you later."
April 24, 2012 Father Everett Hemann, a priest of 40 years, and community member of 6 different parishes, passed away. The funeral was huge. Celebrations were had. Conversations of the stories of Ev were had. Ev was a great servant of God; but to me he was a great friend.
I'm sure others have stories of Ev and many just as personal as mine, that's just who he was, personal with everyone. So today we remember a friend, brother, priest, mentor, son, godfather, servant of God. We ask him to pray for each one of us. Fr. Ev was a servant to all of us and an inspiration of how Christ can shine through us in a positive way. We all struggle to serve others, but it's a good thing that we have one more soul up there praying, "watch over Your children, though at times they are idiots, forgive them because I want to see them again!"
Father Everett Hemann,
Pray for us
Monday, April 1, 2013
A visit from my family
The last 2 weeks I have had family in town! We had lots of fun and tasted many different types of food. We did sight seeing, wine tasting, hiking, hill driving, talked, and just enjoyed each others company. I'm really glad they came out (despite the fact I'm exhausted!) and hope that whatever I do next year will allow me to still see them frequently. Below is a link to all the photos I took!
This week I'm on Easter break so my short list of things to do includes getting back on a running schedule, finish my taxes, update my cover letters, update my resume, and apply apply apply to more jobs. The law of large numbers states the more times something is done, the more likely the desired result will be met. The more I understand what I want to do next year, the more I can perfect my resume and e-portfolio. The better my resume is, the better idea what jobs I want to submit. The more jobs I apply for, the more likely I will get responses from employers. The more responses I get from employers, the higher chance I have of getting a career in something I can truly make a difference. The work I put in will average out to a career I desire, this is the law of large numbers.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Winter in San Francisco
WOW! Has it been a crazy last few months. I am able to take a little breather this week before I have sisters and friends at my house for the next 3 weeks. I figured I should update all of my friends and family about some of the things that have been happening in my life since Christmas.
Since Christmas I have been to Los Angeles twice, started distance running again, implemented a full checkin/out solution for a benefit, participated in the Color Run, hung out with Flat Stanley, hosted friends from the midwest, and participated in Catholic Schools Week. See the pics below!
To give some of you a little incite of what I have been doing at work for the last 4 months, I have been implementing a software solution called GreaterGiving. It is a event management software that you can use from start to finish for events of your organisation from year to year. Back in November I was given the "okay" to start researching electronic solutions for De Marillac's huge Annual Scholarship Benefit (ASB) in March. I decided on GreaterGiving because it was exactly the solution we needed to register guests' credit cards and process everything automatically.
There were a lot of ups and downs during the whole process because of the tight timeline we were on to implement the software. I needed to import over 300 guests, teach others how to process another 500, create gift package appropriate for our event, create a checkin process, create a checkout process, and make sure everything works smoothly so that donors give over a half million dollars. I personally loved doing all this because I was in charge. My coworkers were taking my advice, going off of my suggestions, and implementing everything I asked. The night of came along and everything went flawless. I could not have been happier with the end results. I simply love process, technology, people, and bridging the gap between the people who work hard doing good things and technology to make their lives easier. I suppose there's a career in there somewhere.
That brings me where my focus has been and will be for the next few months, next year. I'm really enjoying working with event software, so I might look into development for those companies. Other opportunities include working on a development team for the mobile industry, specifically Android. I'm also pondering being a hobo and working on the warf here making money from tourists, I hear they make a lot of money. Kidding! Once I know more about this subject, I will let everyone know!
Picture Time!
Since Christmas I have been to Los Angeles twice, started distance running again, implemented a full checkin/out solution for a benefit, participated in the Color Run, hung out with Flat Stanley, hosted friends from the midwest, and participated in Catholic Schools Week. See the pics below!
To give some of you a little incite of what I have been doing at work for the last 4 months, I have been implementing a software solution called GreaterGiving. It is a event management software that you can use from start to finish for events of your organisation from year to year. Back in November I was given the "okay" to start researching electronic solutions for De Marillac's huge Annual Scholarship Benefit (ASB) in March. I decided on GreaterGiving because it was exactly the solution we needed to register guests' credit cards and process everything automatically.
There were a lot of ups and downs during the whole process because of the tight timeline we were on to implement the software. I needed to import over 300 guests, teach others how to process another 500, create gift package appropriate for our event, create a checkin process, create a checkout process, and make sure everything works smoothly so that donors give over a half million dollars. I personally loved doing all this because I was in charge. My coworkers were taking my advice, going off of my suggestions, and implementing everything I asked. The night of came along and everything went flawless. I could not have been happier with the end results. I simply love process, technology, people, and bridging the gap between the people who work hard doing good things and technology to make their lives easier. I suppose there's a career in there somewhere.
That brings me where my focus has been and will be for the next few months, next year. I'm really enjoying working with event software, so I might look into development for those companies. Other opportunities include working on a development team for the mobile industry, specifically Android. I'm also pondering being a hobo and working on the warf here making money from tourists, I hear they make a lot of money. Kidding! Once I know more about this subject, I will let everyone know!
Picture Time!
A hiking adventure in California! |
My awesome running shoes that everyone makes fun of |
We visited Sausalito just north of SF and look what we found, just an average day in California |
A beautiful view in Sausalito |
Watching the Superbowl rooting for the 49ers! |
Mr. Nennig during Catholic Schools Week |
Probably the best burger I have ever had on Haight St. |
My career path that led me to DMA |
St. Boniface, the church linked to my school |
Probably the funniest sign I have seen in SF. Fortunately, it didn't get me to come in! |
Coastal View |
More Coast |
Malibu beach on a beautiful January day! |
My feet on the edge of the world! |
At Anaheim conference center |
The Genie in legos!!!!!!! |
A picture full of raw imagination |
If you imagine it, they will provide the building blocks |
Best friends |
If only I was able to get on the other side of that fence.... |
Does anyone see whats totally wrong with this picture? |
Lookin classy San Francisco |
Color Run! |
Pretty much the coolest picture ever |
Lumbard St. |
Everything ready for ASB 2013 |
This is a book of poems that the 8th graders from my school made. We sold them at ASB. They are pretty amazing! |
An except from Rise Above |
continued.. |
The lovely hotel I stayed in for ASB 2013 |
Complimentary Starbucks :) |
This was complimentary for each member of the event team..... pretty cool. |
Registration all set up for ASB 2013 |
My roommates getting ready for the craziness |
After taking down registration, we had to set up all the computers again for checkout in a 20 minute window |
The De Marillac Choir performing for all 700 guests |
A few pieces of art work by the students for sale |
A view from the glass elevator heading to my room . |
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